Saturday, January 28, 2006

Angelology

Script written by Patrick Yau (ww) on Saturday, January 28, 2006
Reedited June 16, 2008

ww:I hate unreal things. How to insult all cartoon characters all at once?

Doc:By using your 3-PetaWatt-krypton-powered computer. It should be very powerful.
Doc:The insult can includes any angels across any dimensions, as you wish.

Doc:Cartoon characters are similar to Angelology, but studying Angelology is worse than studying the human's chemistry periodic table.

ww:Then, how bad is Angelology in terms of organization?

Doc:Well, all components/elements/angels have to be in right portions,numbers,positions,orders, or the human imagined "heaven" will blow up.

ww:How many angels are out there at this moment? I am opened to numerous possibilities.

Doc: We haven't got any numbers yet because there are 51 futurists,11 affiliated organizations, 2 enemy representatives,9 logicians, 20 inner-secret authorities arguing over this.

Doc:Because they are tired of arguing the number of gods and angels, they have started to fight each other.So there is no time worshiping, and therefore the number of god today day is currently 0.

Doc: ww, write the program for me, I don't like arguing the number of angels or gods. Now go calculate an appropriate subspace message and send it to influence the subconscious areas of all human individuals. Tell them that their fight is not worthy of their time.

(A week later)
ww:Doctor, it is time for you to launch the subspace message. How is it?

[Doctor Ann read the computer screen, scrolling down a few pages]
Doc:Yes, but it dings when you press some characters and then enter.

Doc:That is strange. It reads "the 3rd angel 5of9order from 7designation,4-6destiny:You weird angel sanity dysfunction!!A ding from a computer can heal you!!"

ww:Doctor Ann, why 35974-6.2'th angel?

Doc:You need a programmer, not an angel nor doctor.

ww:What is your explanation, please?

Doc:My hypothesis is that because the humanity has staggering amount of arguments on the exact number of gods and angels,some human pick up a random number(1-20) every day, and on that day they have that number of gods and angels.

Doc:Um... this subspace message could be used to confuse the human with a stupid arbitrary number of angels, and so they will find out it is nonsense to hold their arguments on number of gods and angels, eventually they will give up their fights and claims on this matter.

ww:Heck! The program should tell them "Use the number of arguments as the number of gods and angels." Eventually for every day the number of gods will be down to zero, and the time of arguing and worshiping is saved. The human race will be saved.


Doc: Just because you are able to figure out the number of Gods formula doesn't mean you will be able to calculate whether one of the Gods is dressing GAP or Old Navy. "They" may love a futile human-made iphone. Their angels may be powered by magic water. You just can't calculate it all. The number of possibilities is at least "the number of quarks in the universe" to the power of "the number of quarks in the universe." That may be why the human beings think that God(s) are so powerful.

Doc:You might be right for "saving the world." There are many ways to do things. You have your ad-hoc funny way. You are liable to doom the humanity in another way. Please exercise extreme caution.

ww (sighed):Why don't human beings just be openminded?

More about Krypton
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krypton_(comics)

More about Angelology
http://www.google.com/search?q=Angelology

1 comment:

Mizzter Moolah said...

Seriously!